Is this person good for me? Why are relationships so hard? These are normal questions we can ask ourselves when we are feeling conflicted about a close relationship, be it a friend or partner. All relationships contain opposing desires at times. Two conflictingaspects of relationships can include the fear of being trapped in a troublesome relationship while simultaneously experiencing the fear of being alone. Each fear is of equal importance or force, but opposite to each other. These conflicting thoughts can cancel each other out and leave you in a tailspin of ambivalence. This uncertainty can hinder the ability to resolve conflict.
Ambivalence and confusion can be temporary. Take time to resolve internal conflicts to aid making decisions, expressing how you feel, and taking action by being fully present.
If a relationship does end, remember:
- to respect the natural ebb and flow of relationships and understand that people and circumstances change. Regardless of whether you’re in that relationship, friendship, career, etc. the pain of grief and loss are normal and will subside with time.
- pain experienced during the loss of a relationship can turn inward and create feelings of inadequacy, confusion and obsession toward the person who we have disconnected from.
- our happiness never depends on any one thing, or person, no matter how important that thing, or person may seem.