Kindness and generosity are linked to greater life satisfaction, stronger relationships and better mental and physical health. But what happens when helpful intentions turn into dysfunctional helping and giving? The solution is to set boundaries when helping becomes unhealthy.
Below are red flags when helping isn’t helping:
- Your resources are being sapped. Healthy healing is staying within your means.
- Relationship imbalance. Are you doing more for someone than they are doing for themselves?
- Helping reinforce a problem. Rescuing someone from the natural consequences of their behavior will render them powerless to change.
There are everyday things that we all need to do. We carry these loads like backpacks. Problems arise when people act as if their daily loads are weights they shouldn’t have to carry.
“Stop asking why they keep doing it and start asking why you keep allowing it.” Anonymous